The Midnight News 5.15.01
Posted By Hyatte on 05.15.01
Raw, Freakboy, Foley, Forks, Panties, Rubber Pants, Stern, and Swerves
Okay, I'm beat and I dug up a respectable chunk of news. So let's get to it.
RAW FISH
Monday Night Raw was on last night. So far, no one is screaming "The WWF is back!!". The Torch reports that Rikishi hurt his shoulder during his RAW match with Kurt Angle. He was in so much pain, he called for the match to end early. Backstage, he was in some serious pain and is set to get an MRI Tuesday morning. Now you can put a question mark on his match for Judgment Day
PK had his recap actually posted a full one hour BEFORE the show came on.... THAT'S how fast 411 is. Read it.
Of course, I won't ruin it for the 19,000 other recappers out there. Nor will I ruin it for my Mop-Up. So the big news is that Raw was on last night. Just call me Scoops Hyatte.
SPEAKING OF SCOOPS...
My old Scoops sitemate Freakboy just won't go away. He's hooked up with The Wrestling Stock Exchange site and managed to score an interview with Mick Foley. Now, obviously, Foley is doing interviews all over the place, but it's still rare when he sits down with a Mark for an online interview. At least there is a chance that some cool inside wrestling stuff will come from it. Let's see what Freakboy was able to pull out of him:
1) He says that no one knew he was writing this book as opposed to the first one. So there wasn't any deadlines. Thus, he had more freedom to take his time and craft his work. The down side is that since there is a first book out there that did so well, the pressure is on him to duplicate the success with this new one.
2) He says that in his first book, he had some residual anger stemming over the past 15 years. So he was a bit hostile towards guys like Ric Flair. This time, however, with all his anger out, he actually pays respect to Flair a couple of times.
3) He put over DDP's book, said that DDP put a lot of work into it, but it wasn't a good time for WCW books because the company was tarnished.
4) He says his next book will be about a ham sandwich.
5) He doesn't care if people do not like wrestling. His issues are with folks like the PTC who twist the subject matter around and make half truths into one giant lie.
6) Freakboy blatantly smooches butt by saying that the small pre-WM angle where Foley had 3 month old tape of him as Commissioner signing his way onto the card was "single most ingenious angle I've ever seen in wrestling." (oh come on!!!) Foley said that he wished they ran more of those bits, in order to "really drive Vince crazy)
7) Foley loves Edge and Christian. Calls them the two guys who will most likely follow in his footsteps.
8) He discusses the fact that Test has taken over Al Snow's role as "most goofed on wrestler in the book".
9) He says that his next book, a Halloween Children's book, is all good to go. Jerry Lawler did not do the illustrations.
10) "Mean people" makes Mick sad.
Freakboy has learned NOTHING.
To access the full interview, go here
ONE SCARY MOFO
Abdullah the Butcher is in the process of writing a book. God help the ghost writer who has to triple check all those Jap names.
Anyway, he did a radio show the other day. Scherer put it on his column. Hyatte stole it for his.
1) Abs says that he likes today's brand of wrestling. He called himself the "Father of Hardcore Wrestling" and says that himself, Terry Funk, and Bruiser Brody were the first to understand the power of a garbage can. He also said that no one uses a fork in the ring because they are morons. (I may be paraphrasing here)
2) Abs loves Mick Foley. Class A all the way. Says no to drugs. Loving husband and Father.
3) Abs loved to work against Funk, Brody, Foley, and Carlos Colon. He talked smack on those Von Erich boys. They were only "so-so" wrestlers. (This coming from a 400 pound guy who stuck forks in people's heads for 15 minutes and called it a match, mind you)
4) Abs avoided the WWF in the 80's because it might crimp his Japanese rep. (that, and Vince might have made HIM host "The Flower Shop")
5) Says that 58'000 people went to the Tokyo Dome two months ago to watch him and Terry Funk go at it. (Wasn't that match dubbed, "The Old American Fools Match"?)
6) Abs said that he made Jumbo Tsuruta and Giant Baba (man, how old IS this stud?) Said that he couldn't go to Baba's funeral because he is so over in Japan, he'd take the spotlight away from the guy in the casket. (to make up for it, he went to the burial site later that night and danced the Jig on Baba's grave)
7) Said that the WWF never wanted him because they really thought he was a madman. (Plus, he would've shoved "Rocco the Puppet" up Vince's rectum if he tried to make him use it)
8) Abs called Hulk Hogan a "professional".
9) Abs feels that wrestling is cyclical in nature, and it's still going down.
10) Japanese people who watched him get electrocuted in that "Chamber of Horrors" match actually thought he was dead. (ugh.... imbeciles)
11) After 40 years, Abdullah still loves the business and still enjoys being in it.
12) He owns a successful restaurant in Atlanta.
13) Abs didn't talk at all during his career because he thought it would ruin his character.
I'll tell you what. Never mind the cleaned up Butcher that WCW used a few times. The guy in all those PWI magazines who was totally soaked with blood as he carved up some poor shmuck-all the while wearing a methodical, almost serene look on his face-that guy always scared the beejeezus out of me. Him and that sick Sheik dude.
FOR THE PERVERTS
A reader let me in on this. I forget who exactly. He knows who he is.
Over at The WWF site there is a spot where an auction is held for valuable merchandise and collectibles.
So far, Chyna's buckle outfit is up to $1,052.
Lita's autographed bra and panties are going for $1,511
And Trish's rubber pants is going for a cool $70.
Needless to say, if some fan boy buys them.... they can't be returned once he splits them right down the middle trying to squeeze his fat ass into them.
SWERVING THE INTERNET KIDS
Ryder reported that Tully Blanchard will be working an Indy show for New Generation Wrestling in Shelby, North Carolina in mid-June. Tully will be taking on David Flair. Arn Anderson will be there and the sub-plot will be who Arn will side with during this match.
That's all well and good, but Bob teased the news by insinuating that it will be a (sorta) FULL Horsemen re-union with "FLAIR, ARN, AND TULLY" joining forces. Obviously, everyone checked it out seeing where Ric Flair will get together with his old crew.
Bad form there, Bob. Not nice to tease the audience like that. You know better.
I'd say more, but I am a crackwhore and Bob is now my pusher.... or some other nonsense that a truly desperate loser is trying to sell you guys on about me. I'll have some fun with him in the Mop-Up.
ROCKYWOOD
With The Mummy Returns clearing the 100 million mark in only two weeks, and a sweet cover story in Rolling Stone, the Rock is now finding more and more movie scripts on his agent's desk.
Now, he's officially "considering" doing a movie version of the Duke Nukem video game, so long as it's more "realistic" and less "video gamish" (sort of like the opposite of his Wrestling career).
I'll give you a heads up. Expect Rocky to be "attached to" or "considering" just about every single movie part that comes his way. It's how it works in Hollywood. A young stud like him has to seem wanted in order to get the choice roles.
Ah, and expect Rocky to be out of wrestling and banging Winona Ryder within 2 years. It's all over but the contract buyout.
In other video game/movie news, Viscera is in serious talks to star in "The Black Pac-Man". Those white ghosts don't stand a chance.
BUT, PLUGS
Well, the big news is that I'll have all three of my columns posted tomorrow, hopefully all of them before the next big news column.
As for right this very second? Well, the aforementioned RAW recap by the aforementioned PK is up now.
Plus, Craig Letawsky has a brand new Ask 411 column, where he answers YOUR questions about wrestling. Suddenly, every site has one of these. F-ing Scaia.
And of course, because I'm a mark for myself, it bears repeating that I'll have three whopping columns up tomorrow. There IS a new And Another Thing located SOMEWHERE online, I'll tell you where and explain why in the Mop-Up.
ONE MORE SMALL THING
Scherer plugged this, and after checking it out, I thought I'd tell you about it too.
Someone wrote a pretty neat article which compared the WWF losing Jerry Lawler to the Howard Stern Show losing Jackie Martling. It's too long and too linear to do some sort of recap on it, so you'll just have to see it for yourself..
While you're there (and if the subject of Howard Stern interests you, it would help if you heard his show to know what the author was talking about), you can check out other columns the guy wrote on Stern. The thing is, the guy seems well informed on who Howard is off the show and what motivates him (basically, he calls Stern a cheap Jew and assumes he makes 20 million a year). Now, I know for a fact that Stern keeps his closest confidants on a very tight leash and disassociates himself very quickly with anyone who talks about him to the press. What I'm saying is that Stern is all about privacy, and this author, I think, is doing a Hell of a lot of guesswork on what he thinks is going on.
So, if you bring a healthy snifter of salt with you, you may enjoy what he has to say.
Ttruth be honest, I don't even want Jackie back on the show. Stern has new blood on all the time now. All these fresh voices give the show a big boost. Stern has never been funnier lately.
I have columns to write. So I am leaving.
Yeah, I know.... I rule
This is Hyatte.